Why do I write this shit?
And why am I going to write even more?
I gave NotebookLM the millions of words I’d written in the blog and asked it to generate a “deep dive” podcast.
The AI generated Podcast hosts got why I write it.
What gets me is how committed he is to using his blog for growth.
That’s why I write it.
I also explained it in the very first post I wrote
[this blog] is about changing the one thing in my life--my not-writing-enough habit--that I most want to change. And then using that change to change some other things.
Changing to become a better person is the through line of my life.
That’s why I talked with God when I was 12.
That’s why I learned about Christian Science.
That’s why I studied (half-assedly I will admit) the religions of the world.
That’s why I’ve read (selected bits) of the Bible.
That’s why I “studied” and sampled Zen Buddhism and later other flavors of Buddhism.
That’s why I studied Scientology.
That’s why I’ve practiced meditation.
That’s why I’ve done therapy.
That’s the through line behind Self Referential Metanovel Writing for D*mmies
That’s why I’ve been studying A Course In Miracles.
That’s why I’ve taken two MEA Workshops and why I learned, in the first workshop what my direction was and had been since I was 12.
I’ve done lots of things that have taken me off the track. I’ve wandered in the wilderness, sometimes for years.
But the pull was the same: to become the best person I could become. Maybe the best ever.
My heroes: Jesus, Buddha, Hugh Hefner
OK, that’s a weird combination.
As a Jewish boy I learned I was one of the Chosen People™. Not long afterward I learned about Jesus.
Jesus has been hailed as The Greatest Jew Who Ever Lived™ with billions of adherents to “Christianity,” a religion that Jesus did not invent and arguably never intended.
(But other well-meaning people invented it, and it’s overall been a huge success.)
Later I learned about Buddha and decided that his way was also my way. Or at least some aspects of his way.
Which brings me to Hugh Hefner.
My dad subscribed to Playboy.
I am sure he subscribed for the same reason I read it: the excellent articles and stories they published. Not the nudes.
I avidly read “The Playboy Philosophy,” which Hef published from 1962 to 1965/
It provided an excellent set of justifying arguments for the natural preferences of a horny, philosophically inclined 20-year-old.
Or just a horny 20-year old.
Or a horny person of any age.
The “Playboy Philosophy” was an editorial series by Hugh Hefner that advocated for personal freedom, individual happiness, and the rejection of what he saw as conservative and puritanical repression in American society. It championed open sexuality, challenged censorship and religious authority over personal morality, and promoted a lifestyle of pleasure, style, and freedom. The philosophy also touched on political ideas like free speech and separation of church and state, portraying its ultimate goal as maximizing individual happiness and pleasure, prioritizing individual good over group good.
I outgrew the Playboy Philosophy, and much, much later outgrew being horny.
But Hugh Hefner and the Philosophy made their mark on my development.
Following the Playboy Philosophy was (weirdly) a part of my ongoing project of personal self-improvement.
How have I done?
I’m back to Jesus and Buddha, and a few other people like Michael Levin.
I’m still far short of the goal, but I believe I’ve made progress.
This blog is a good record of my successes and failures; and my slowly cohering personal philosophy.
I’m not at Jesus-level where forgiveness is concerned or at Buddha-level for compassion. (Or Mike Levin level for anything he does)
But I’m pleased with the progress I’ve made and I’ve been making.
It’s been a long road. Sometimes painful, now increasingly joyful.
I hope some of the breadcrumbs I’ve left here help you—if you so inclined.
If not, I hope you have a few laughs.