Can God create a rock so big that She can't move it?

“Of course I can,” says The God I Don’t Believe In.”

“Then you aren’t omnipotent,” says a reader. “There’s a rock that you can’t move.”

“Of course, I can move it,” says God. “I’m God, after all.”

“Wait a minute,” says a reader. Nobody waited for a minute. Not even me. But this didn’t dismay that reader. They went on. “Either you can move a rock, or you can’t. Either you can make a rock big enough that you can’t move it, or you can’t. You can’t have it both ways.”

“Of course, I can have it both ways,” said God. “I’m God. I can have all the ways I want.”

“Yes,” but it’s not logical. “There’s the law of the excluded middle.”

“What’s that?” asked another reader.

“Let me explain,” said Wikipedia.

In logic, the law of excluded middle or the principle of excluded middle states that for every proposition, either this proposition or its negation is true.^[1][2] It is one of the three laws of thought, along with the law of noncontradiction, and the law of identity; however, no system of logic is built on just these laws, and none of these laws provides inference rules, such as modus ponens or De Morgan's laws. The law is also known as the law / principle of the excluded third, in Latin principium tertii exclusi. Another Latin designation for this law is tertium non datur or "no third [possibility] is given". In classical logic, the law is a tautology.

“I didn’t understand that at all,” chorused almost every imaginary reader. And even many real ones.

“Let me explain,” I said.

“Please,” said God. “Let Me explain.

“We teach children not to lie until they are old enough to understand that sometimes a lie is the best response.

“We teach children right from wrong until they are old enough to understand that there are situations where they can’t know what’s right.

“We teach children to follow the rules until they are old enough to know when to break them.

“We teach children that the sun rises in the morning and sets at night until they are old enough to get the idea of the earth rotating on its axis and revolving around the sun.

“We teach children that objects fall because of gravity until they are old enough to master the tensor calculus needed to understand the Einstein Field Equations.

“I’ve created not one Universe, children are told, but a Multiverse.

“In each Universe, children who are old enough can learn that some statements are neither true nor false. And some can be both true and false.

“Particles can be in every place and no place.

“Light beams and particles don’t just follow one path; they follow every path. Not just every possible path but also every impossible one.”

“So, I can be everywhere and nowhere.

“And I can easily create a rock so big that I can’t move it, and I can also move that immovable rock.

“In God, all things are possible, including the impossible.”

“We don’t believe in God,” say some readers. “And we never will.”

“No problem,” God answers. “I believe in you, and My Will is what matters.”