If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?

That’s what I imagined someone asking me this morning when I woke up. Or imagined that I woke up. Or wakened. Wokened. Whatever.

“I’ll write a blog post and answer that,” an LLM typed.

Briefly, I’m both smart and rich. I’ve got more money than anyone in the world.

“What about Jeff Bezos?” I imagined someone asking. “According to Google, Jeff Bezos had 177.8 billion dollars in 2023. Look at the screen cap below.”

“I believe you,” an LLM answered on my behalf. “But people don’t realize that all that money is actually mine. Jeff manages it on my behalf. So do Warren Buffet, Elon Musk, Larry Elison, Bill Gates, and many others.”

“If that’s your money, why don’t you ask for it?” I imagine a reader asking.

“I could if I want to,” the LLM continues, “But I don’t need it. Those guys are all doing a great job managing my money that I’d be an idiot to take any of it out of their hands.”

“What about Vladimir Putin’s wealth?” I imagined a disputatious reader asking. “Is that your, too?”

“Yes,” I said. “It’s mine, too.”

“Then why don’t you take it out of his hands?”

“Are you kidding?” I imagined asking.

“No,” I imagined the answer. “Why don’t you just take his money?”

“Sigh,” I sighed. “If Putin had no money, there’d be no reason for him not to start World War III. He’d have nothing to lose. As long as he’s got enough—and for him, enough is quite a lot—he won’t risk it. So, by not taking Putin’s money, I’m actually preventing World War III.”

“What?” came the answer.

“You’re welcome,” I said and published.