The Voice of God
Here's another post from my catch-up series, explained here. It's May 19th, despite the date on the post.
This, from page 53 in Inside Jokes (altered from the original).
An atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by an angry-looking group of natives.
"Oh God," he says to himself, "I'm completely screwed."
Suddenly he hears a voice. "Even though you do not believe in me," says the voice, "even though you have used my name in vain, you have called on me, and I tell you that you are not completely screwed."
"Tell me what to do," the explorer says. "Whatever you say, I'll do it."
"Pick up that stone and bash in the head of the chief in front of you," says the voice.
He picks up the stone, and before the natives realize what he's doing, he attacks the chief.
The natives, madder than before, grab him and start to carry him off.
"Okay," says the voice, "now you are completely screwed."