Whatever it takes

I am willing to do whatever it takes to do as little as possible to seem to have worked hard to appear to have achieved whatever I can manage to get away with. And you can count on that!

I’m not lazy. I will work as hard as I need to work to impress people with how hard I’m working. I will do whatever it takes to convince people that I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I’ll do as little as possible to appear to be going all out. And I’ll constantly test the limits and find ways to do less while I appear to do more.

And especially me. I'm the person I most want to impress with how hard I seem to work. I'll do whatever it takes to convince myself that I'm doing whatever I can to achieve the goals that I imagine I really care about. Fortunately, I'm not that hard to convince. Otherwise, I'd have to work harder.

Sacrifices? I’ll make whatever sacrifices I need to make in order to seem to be willing to make any necessary sacrifice.

Help? Of course, I’ll ask for help. I’ll ask for enough help to make it clear that I’m serious enough about change to ask for help. That should be enough.

Commitment? I am utterly committed to finding the most effective way to appear to be committed while experiencing as little discomfort as I can.

Like right now. It’s easier to write about how willing I am to avoid doing things that are harder to do than to write this. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll appear to be confronting a serious problem by glibly writing a few semi-amusing paragraphs.

And then I’ll post it, giving the illusion that I’m committed to making changes when I’m really only committed to giving the illusion that I’m committed.

Given that I’m aware that I always pull this kind of shit, what can I possibly do that isn’t more of the same?

I don’t know. But I’ll tell you one thing for sure. I’m going to do as little possible to appear to be utterly committed to answering that question.