An open letter to my 90-year-old self-to-be (and apparently you, since you are reading this)

Photo by Lucas George Wendt on Unsplash

Hi!

I hope you’re doing well. I hope you are loving life. I hope your body isn’t a wreck. I hope you’re not dead.

Remember me? I’m your nearly-80-year-old-past-self. If you don’t remember, no problem. I’ll give you a little help.

When past-you wrote this, he was (I am, you were) sitting at the table on a beautiful September day in Maine. You were (I am, he was) drinking coffee. Past-Bobbi was also drinking coffee next to me (him, you). Remember Bobbi? I hope she’s well.

I want to remind you how happy I was (you were, I am) imagining you. So you can take a moment and imagine me (you), imagining you (me.)

(And if you are not 90-year-old-me or any of the me’s-between-now-and-then, you can imagine us, too. I hope you will feel our love for one another—the love between the future-me’s and the past-me’s. And I hope you will feel my love for you and anyone who reads what I write.)

I wanted to remind us all of something I remembered this day (that day, long ago.) How as I began to put that thought into words, another thought appeared.

“I am the thought ‘I wanted to find a purpose, and I realized that there was no purpose outside myself, but that purpose was within me,’” said the first thought.

I wanted to find a purpose, and I realized that there was no purpose outside myself, but that purpose was within me

“I am the thought ‘I do not have a purpose. I am a purpose,’” said the thought that appeared.

I do not have a purpose. I am a purpose

Let me explain it for you, 90-year-old-self and all the self’s between and all the reader-selfs:

Errors and Truth

To think, “I need a purpose,” is an error. To need means to lack. To say you need a purpose is to say you do not have one. And where shall such a purpose come from?

To think, “I have a purpose, but I don’t know it,” is also an error. It seems to be an error of a different kind. But if you look closely, you will see that there is only one kind of error.

To think, “I have a purpose” is an error if you believe that having and being are different.

If you recognize that having and being are the same, then to think, “I have a purpose,” is the same as to think, “I am a purpose,” which contains an important Truth.

Think it: “I am a purpose.”

90-year-old-me (and others), can you see the Truth within?

Here’s the Truth within.

I am.

I am

There is no 90-year-old-me and nearly-80-year-old you.

I am.

You are.

They are.

We are.

This is writing these words, and clicking the publish button is my purpose. These words are not separate. They are an extension of myself, through time, to you.

As time is measured, It took the universe 13.75 billion years or so to bring this about.

Your purpose is reading this. And in doing so, you are not “merely reading,” but you are fulfilling your purpose. These words will live within you and become a part of you.

As time is measured, it took the universe 13.75 billion years or so to bring you here.

Let me again direct your attention to this important Truth: Like me, and like God, you are.

You exist.

Your existence cannot be explained.

It qualifies as a miracle.

In a universe that is mostly dead, you are alive.

Right now, that’s my purpose.

To remind you.

And press publish

Or you can read this, which changed my life

Thank you, Past Me. Thank you random stranger